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THIS IS MY LIFE. 

THIS IS MY LIFE. 

tushbutt:

giantspacefetus:

porn always makes sucking d look so fun but in real life its just like

ow can u stop pulling my hair and no u cant cum in my mouth

man i couldn’t disagree harder

blowjobs are da funnest thing

everyone wins

(fact)

Psh. Paunchy? LIES. You’re gorgeous. 

tushbutt:

i’m getting paunchy
*kanye shrug*

Drive back from Greensboro. Get home. Happy. Five minutes go by. Now I feel like crap. WTF just happened? 

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. WHY THE FUCK DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF.

I don’t know why now, but I’m starting to feel kinda shitty. Like I did something wrong. I just want to say I’m sorry if I did do anything wrong. Just in case, ya know? I mean, I seriously shouldn’t be having any problems with all of this. I guess I feel guilty. So I’m sorry if I did anything wrong. I just needed to say it—now I can hopefully feel less guilty—less like a shitty person—and get back to some normalcy. 

weliveandbreathewords:

Harry Potter // First and last lines

shavingryansprivates:

tiny kitty wearing a tiny hat eating a tiny ice cream cone

letmalikharrysdimples:

eiyo-taika:

crackingmyback:

happyfaces-sadplaces:

always-there-to-welcome-you-home:

jump-thesun:

uncagethemonster:

noxaldia:

there-is-no-pumpkin:

halfgodsgotswag:

heyfunniest:

“Mom, Dad, I’m gay.”“Ok… so do you want pizza for dinner or just McDonalds?”

“Mom….I’m…”“Gay. Yeah.”“You knew?”“I ship you and your best friend.”“Ship?”“I ship it.”“Well…We’re dating. Is it fine?”“Does he like reading?”“Yeah. He read all those old books you liked when you were a kid. You know that series about those Greek god kids and wizards and that boy who bakes a lot and that-““You have my permission to marry him. Now let’s go to Disneyland.”

^^this.

I ship it.I ship it.

“Mom, Mom, I’m gay.”
“We have taught you well.”

Imagine Harry Potter’s son trying to tell him he’s gay.
“Dad, I.. I think I’m gay.”
“Albus Severus Potter, you were named after two headmasters-“
“Oh God. Dad, I’ve already heard this. I know how this ends.”
“One of them was gay and-“
“For the love of all that is magic, I get it!”
“He was one of the bravest gay wizards I’ve ever known. Brave, but gay.”
“Please stop.”
“BRAVEST GAY HEADMASTER ALL OF HOGWARTS HAS EVER HAD!”
“…”
“BRAVEST AND GAYEST, I SAY.”

this ^oh my god, I love tumblr

tumblr loves gays more than gays love gays.

the comments though

“Mom, I lost my virginity.”
“Were you safe, son?”
“Yeah. I made him wear a condom.”
“Well, as long as you were safe about it. Congrats on the sex, honey. Let me go get the cake.”
“Mom, I had sex with a guy.”
“So did I. That’s how you got here. But, you don’t see making a big deal about it. Now, what flavor do you want the cake?”

These comments!!!

letmalikharrysdimples:

eiyo-taika:

crackingmyback:

happyfaces-sadplaces:

always-there-to-welcome-you-home:

jump-thesun:

uncagethemonster:

noxaldia:

there-is-no-pumpkin:

halfgodsgotswag:

heyfunniest:

“Mom, Dad, I’m gay.”
“Ok… so do you want pizza for dinner or just McDonalds?”

“Mom….I’m…”
“Gay. Yeah.”
“You knew?”
“I ship you and your best friend.”
“Ship?”
“I ship it.”
“Well…We’re dating. Is it fine?”
“Does he like reading?”
“Yeah. He read all those old books you liked when you were a kid. You know that series about those Greek god kids and wizards and that boy who bakes a lot and that-“
“You have my permission to marry him. Now let’s go to Disneyland.”

^^this.

I ship it.
I ship it
.

“Mom, Mom, I’m gay.”

“We have taught you well.”

Imagine Harry Potter’s son trying to tell him he’s gay.

“Dad, I.. I think I’m gay.”

“Albus Severus Potter, you were named after two headmasters-“

“Oh God. Dad, I’ve already heard this. I know how this ends.”

“One of them was gay and-“

“For the love of all that is magic, I get it!”

“He was one of the bravest gay wizards I’ve ever known. Brave, but gay.”

“Please stop.”

“BRAVEST GAY HEADMASTER ALL OF HOGWARTS HAS EVER HAD!”

“…”

“BRAVEST AND GAYEST, I SAY.”

this ^
oh my god, I love tumblr

tumblr loves gays more than gays love gays.

the comments though

“Mom, I lost my virginity.”

“Were you safe, son?”

“Yeah. I made him wear a condom.”

“Well, as long as you were safe about it. Congrats on the sex, honey. Let me go get the cake.”

“Mom, I had sex with a guy.”

“So did I. That’s how you got here. But, you don’t see making a big deal about it. Now, what flavor do you want the cake?”

These comments!!!

image


Everybody needs winking Neil Patrick Harris on their blog. 

Everybody needs winking Neil Patrick Harris on their blog.